Towards the end of the show, a despondent student who has desperately been trying to land a clerkship scores with one final little white envelope. To the strains of West Side Story's "Maria" she begins to sing:

Scalia

Scalia – I'm going to clerk for Scalia
And working for that name, will bring a lot of fame to me.
Scalia – I just for the word from Scalia!
And everything is swell – I'll turn out just like Larry L.

Scalia – say it loud, his effects are sweeping.
Say it soft, you'll hear liberals weeping.
Scalia – I'll write his opinions, Scalia!
Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia,
Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, Scalia!
Say it loud, I will not be humble.
Say it soft and watch Geoffrey Stone crumble.
Scalia – I'll walk in his footsteps, Scalia.
And then I would have my own clerks just like – Scalia!

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