Katz (The Bankruptcy Song)


The following is a song sung by the head of the Katz firm’s Bankruptcy department – trying to recruit a young associate to his department – and explaining why hard times can be good times – depending on what you do:

“The Bankruptcy Song”

Verse 1:
They’re running low in Dallas/And Pittsburgh’s gone to rust
Silicon Valley’s slipping/Their bytes have bit the dust
They’re hamstrung in the farm belt/With prices ‘gainst the grain
And things are getting rotten/Upon the fruited plain
The belt is getting tighter/Down South beneath the Sun
If commerce is a battle then/This must be Verdun
Hooray, hooray, hooray/Misery’s on its way!

Chorus 1:
(There are) Bad times just around the corner
Recession is just along the path
A drop in coin per diem could bring an end to GM
And Ivory Soap is gonna take a bath
A glutt’ll put the hex on both Amoco and Exxon
The wolf ain’t at the door, he’s in their bed
And so the gods we’ll thank when the Tiger’s in the tank
They’d be better off to drop down dead

There’s a plummeting in zinc meaning Phelps is on the brink
But the miners can’t get drunk with Jack Daniels in the drink
Seventh Ave. is waxing wroth over cheap Korean cloth
If the workers are on souplines they’ll put Campbell’s in the broth
Just hold on to what you’ve got at a time when most have not
When the Colonel can’t sell chicken and the pushers can’t sell pot
The economy is spent, which is gonna pay our rent
U.S. Steel was the teaser, who can guess the main event?

Verse 2:
Hartford’s lost assurance/Akron’s blown its spare
Carolina’s finished/Vancouver’s only fair
Maine has lost its timber/ And Nashville’s gone off key
If farmers won’t stop growing crops/Nebraska corn is free
They’re whining down in Marin/And quaking up in ‘Frisco
And Hollywood’s not been so bad/Since death was dealt to disco
Hooray, hooray, hooray/Suff’ring and dismay

Final Chorus:
There are bad times just around the corner
Chaos lurks around the bend
Now Cuisinart is chopped up and Sudafed is stopped up
And Pampers will be coming to an end
No quarter also no buck is given Sears and Roebuck
I’ll say it still though often it’s been said
The Barbies and their Kennies can’t save their J.C. Penney’s
They’d be better off to drop down dead

Not a pretty story/Fiscally quite gory/Land of faded glory/Just keep voting Tory
They’d be better off to drop down dead.

(Written by Steven Kurtz '87 and Dave McCarthy '87.)

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Thanks to Maureen Kane Berg for providing this information.