Lawyers in Love

         
 

Reasonable Man

My parents were both lawyers
Who always thought it best
To let me do whatever things I wanted to
They let me play in muddy puddles
Get my clothes all messed
And let me do the tricks that Allen Funt'd do
They only asked one thing of me
Twas on the day they died
They took my hand in theirs and begged me please
If a man proposes to you asking you to be his bride
Say no unless you're very sure that he's….

A reasonable man
Promised that I'd find myself a reasonable man
I promised on their deathbed
That I would find a reasonable man.

I remember Charlie Harris
He was in my first grade class
I remember loving him from the first day on
Now Charlie was an eight-year-old no others could surpass
But in art he pressed too hard and broke his crayon.

A reasonable man, go on breaking crayons you're no
Reasonable man
Through seven years of grade school
I couldn't find a reasonable man

Now Gregory the sailor was a guy with lots of charm
We'd go out sailing every day til four
While cruising on the sound one day I noticed with alarm
That Greg had left his radio on shore

A reasonable man, economic analysis shows you're not a
Reasonable man
I sailed the seven oceans
But couldn't find a reasonable man

The next one was a big guy, and peter was his name
A football player down at USC
Now everything was fine until I watched him play a game
Right then I knew that he was not for me.

A reasonable man, no one who plays football is a
Reasonable man
His body was stupendous but he was not a reasonable man.

If I can't find him in law school
Which I've sworn is my last try
I'll run away to France and join a nunnery
Or jump out from a building which is fifty stories high
Or stand behind the targets of a gunnery

A reasonable man, won't somebody help me find a reasonable man?
It starts to get depressing when you can't find a reasonable man.
A reasonable man, won't somebody help me find a reasonable man?
I gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta find me a reasonable man.


Thanks to Mike Salmanson '86 for providing lyrics. .

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