Oediface Lex (West Publishing)

         
 

Also from Oedifice Lex is “West Publishing” which happens when a student accidentally takes a job with West – thinking it is a law firm called “West, Pugh, Blish and Ling.”

West Representative:
Verse 1:
We’re so glad you chose to come and join us up here in St. Paul
Won’t you let me take that diploma there, ‘cause you won’t need it on your wall
Forget about those New York firms; now you’re with the best
‘Cause you can bet that we typeset the precedent at West

Chorus 1:
And we don’t care if you’ve been disbarred
Or simply failed the test
The hours are long, but the work’s not hard
When you typeset the precedent
‘Cause it’s not yet the precedent
‘Til we typeset the precedent at West

Verse 2:
Have you ever gazed on so much paper? Or so many books?
Out in our warehouse there’s still more; feel free to take a look
I’ll tell you something more my friend, it doesn’t stop at this
‘Cause what isn’t bound in volumes is on Westlaw floppy disks.

Verse 3:
The way we make our money is by charging by the pound
Ten dollars per for paperback; and thirty for leather-bound
The beauty of this business is, there is no final sale
Because without the pocket parts, the books will all go stale

Chorus 2:
And we don’t care if you’ve been disbarred
Or simply failed the test
The hours are long, but the work’s not hard
When you typeset the precedent
Come on! You’ll get your bread and rent
When you typeset the precedent at West

Verse 4:
We print those big brown casebooks that the students never read
Since we also sell them nutshells, which is all they really need
The bright ones all buy hornbooks and to us that’s just a gift
‘Cause as soon as they buy Prosser’s 4th, we publish Keeton’s 5th

Verse 5:
We never make a typo, and we never miss a word
That done we cross-reference to the point of the absurd
The law’s not made by judges, as attorneys might suggest
They only read our keynotes, so the law is made by West

Chorus 3:
And we don’t care if you’ve been disbarred
Or simply failed the test
The hours are long, but the work’s not hard
When you typeset the precedent
Come on, you’ll get your bread and rent
‘Cause it’s not yet the precedent
‘Til we typeset the precedent at West

(Written by Brian Gaffney’86 and Maureen Kane Berg '87.)

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Thanks to Maureen Kane Berg for providing this information.